the feminist librarian reads

From the cheap seats, it’s easy to look at this tale of woe and see that her husband is not necessarily doing everything it takes to help her have orgasms. He’s made uncomfortable by sex toys and clearly won’t risk reducing his own AMPLE pleasure for hers. But she is part of this broken circle, too: She’s no doubt reassuring him that everything is great, and if she’s faking again anyway, what reason does he have to reevaluate those conclusions? Pearson’s piece is interesting because it lives at the messy intersection of all the reasons we deem sex any good and how that is often different for men than women. While we can acknowledge that it’s often more complicated for women to orgasm than men, and that men are far more likely than women to leave a sexual encounter having gotten off, especially in younger couples/hookups, we also can’t assume that all good sex must end with orgasms for both partners, unless that is what both partners want. There are other values, right? Like emotional and physical closeness, and warmth, caring? Right? Or just getting fucked real good for a while even if you don’t come?